Becoming Real

Yet life gives and it takes away.

The secret to surviving the trauma in our lives is to remember “this too shall pass.” It’s a simple statement but packs a wallop of intent. I was not taught coping mechanisms growing up. I learned them by default. I learned to keep my mouth shut to avoid being hit. I learned to be invisible to avoid the wrath of my parent’s anger. But as an adult, those learned behaviors do not serve anyone properly.

What I learned when I was 40 is to stop being afraid of being judged. I learned to honestly state what I thought rather than what I thought they wanted to hear. I learned to show my love without conditions being attached to the giving of my heart. I learned finally how to be in a relationship that was healthy in every aspect.

Couples define their relationships in many ways, but a healthy relationship consists of great communication skills; a willingness to let their partner grow at their own pace; not feel as though there has to be a winner in an argument in fact an argument should not consist of screaming, name calling and devious manipulative concepts. It is perfectly acceptable to agree to disagree.

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