Choices

Then I choose a man who was needy and displayed the same characteristics as my father. He was demanding, would only accept his way as being the right way, over bearing and very controlling. It was my “job” as his wife to please him.

Children develop their own coping mechanisms to survive in less than ideal situations. Then when they develop adult relationships they mirror the same behavior patterns.

Those relationships never work!

I believe that is exactly why the divorce rate is so high. We are typically attracted to the personality and behavioral traits exhibited by the parent we had the least desirable relationship with. There is an innate need to “fix” what didn’t work with our parents and think we can do it through a spouse or partner who exhibits the same patterns. Most often, without ever being aware of what we are attempting to do.

It all starts from the dysfunctions we experience as children and continues throughout our lives until one day, we finally wake up and realize, “this isn’t working for me any more!”

Then our whole lives turn inside out. Many times we repeat the same patterns with different partners, still never able to recognize the patterns. We’re so busy surviving, we don’t take the time to look at what we are doing with our lives and realize how unhappy we are until we just can’t take it any more.

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