There isn’t a single answer except spending enough time with each of your children so you are able to change your practices if what you’re doing isn’t working. It is important to see your children as individuals. You already know how you responded to your parent’s techniques in raising you and how your siblings or cousins responded. You know intellectually what worked for one didn’t work for the other.
You have to stay aware, every day, often every moment of every day. It is the biggest responsibility most people will ever have. Raising a child who turns out to be a healthy, productive and happy adult does not come easy for most. It takes a lot of work, but it is also one of the most rewarding jobs anyone can tackle, when it turns out right!
Even the friends you expose your children to will have a major impact on their lives and how the view the world. Choose your friends carefully; they will silently communicate a wealth of information to your children about you as an adult. Think of your friends as though you were your own child and imagine how you would see them through your child like eyes. Do they talk respectful? Do they act responsibly? What are the hidden messages in their behavior?
I grew up in the “hippie” pot smoking era. We had Peter, Paul and Mary move to our town. Chuck Berry bought a house right across the driveway from our church. It was a well known place for those famous to escape the riggers of their notorious lives.